On Saturday I made a list of questions about the paintings I started last week, because what am I doing!? I ask myself things because I like charting the path forward in my work even when it’s not clear what’s happening. It’s like I’m on a walk that seems aimless at first, but I pause and look back. I think, why did I choose that way and not the other way? I figure there probably is a preference in each direction I choose, and knowing how I got to each particular place informs my next choices for when I walk again. That way, the walk itself is fulfilling the intentions I didn’t know I had. And wherever I get to, I will know where I wanted to be.

twelve small panels at the start, upper left, Monday
twelve small panels, work in progress, Wednesday
twelve small panels ordered in columns of most completed (90%?) to least (20%?), Friday

Unanswered questions:

  • Will this be one painting made of 12 parts or 12 individual paintings?
  • Why these shapes?
  • What happened to the stone shapes with the round and round and round scratched lines?
  • Where do these colors come from? From my internal experience? Are they lasting?
  • Or are the colors from external life? Environmental? Just trends? Are they superficial?
  • Why the hard edges vs gradients?
  • Is this a language? If so, what are these paintings saying?
  • Is this a place? Have I been there? Is this place real or imagined?
  • Do I need these answers?

Answered questions:

  • Do I love working on these? (Yes.)
  • Why am I making them? (Many reasons.)
  • Will I make more? (Yes.)
  • Will I work in the same small panel size? (No.)
  • What is the purpose of making these? (To do the making and see what happens.)

Statements:

  • I’m at the beginning, not the middle or end.
  • Whatever seems too obvious, I want to question.
  • Whatever seems too resolved, I want to blur.
  • I want hard edges in the floating space.
  • I want solid forms in the formless space.
  • I want a kind of balance, not just balance.
  • I want harmony and contrast.
  • I want the option for choices, then I want to choose.
  • If there is one kind, I also want something different.
  • It’s not about this. It’s not about that. It’s what’s in between both.